Day 1: 1 hour after my first laser treatment.
What did it feel like?
The most popular question on everyone's mind: What did it feel like? Well, honestly, it wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting, and I'm a wussy. Big time! I found a documentary on Netflix, maybe you've heard of it "Erasing Hate". Where this former clan member gets tattoo removal for his face and hands. After seeing what this guy went though, I thought I was doomed. Turned out, I was wrong. While there were some spots that were more tender than others, like the top of the wings and the bottom of the leaves, near my tailbone. But the rest was tolerable.
From what I understand, lidocaine injections actually slow the process, it gets in the way of the laser being able to do it's thing (more on that in a minute). So we numbed with just ice. Yup! JUST ICE! Which was actually the most uncomfortable part. Nikki, my laser extraordinaire, has this down to a T. She does a few zaps, then hits it with an ice cold, ice roller. And, I have to say, her system works pretty well. On the more tender areas, she did less zaps at a time and more ice in between. And other areas, she was able to just go, go, go. And it felt like the splatter from bacon grease. (Doesn't that make you want a BLT right now?) Yup, it's like a quick "WTH" and then it's gone (thanks to the ice).
Here's how the laser works. It bursts the ink into smaller particles that your body then eliminates. So, the healthier you are, the more water you drink and the better you care for it, the better your body and work for you. Simple. (Which is probably why clan guy had a hard time. Not. So. Healthy.
Oh, so more on the laser: the laser sees the ink and obliterates it. So, the darker the ink, the better the laser sees it and kicks it's skanky ass (I refer to those two bondage fairies as skanks, sluts and a colorful array of names- Yes, I can see what you'd assume this says about me, hence getting rid of those skanky bitches. Remember, they're 16 years old. They've grown up a lot over the years). Back to the ink, so you can see how the black outline got it's butt kicked by the laser and how the green, purple and red are holding strong. The laser has to work a little harder to see those colors. That's why I am expecting the green, especially, to possibly blister and ache a bit more than the rest.
Now, about that aching. By the time I got to the car, the ice had worn off and those dirty sluts were screaming. Like a burn. It felt like a burn. So much so, that I had to turn the A/C off in the car. But, about 2 hours post-op, it had calmed down. It left like your tight skin after a sun burn. Not just any sunburn, but the sunburn you get from drinking like a fish at Coconuts all day on a Saturday. Cocoa Beach people WUZZUP! (A shot out to my old stomping ground. Wait, are shot outs still cool?)
And that's it. Any questions?
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